Online Dating

Finding yourself on the dating scene after 30 years with the same man is frightening. A few friends have asked if I am dating and I wonder who they think I would be dating in this small everybody-knows-your-business town. Some men have feigned interest but are already attached, think that I am desperate for sex, or are what I consider to be creepy. One suitor has proven to be sincerely interested and I am seeing him occasionally. Workplace romances are very touchy and I don’t want to lose his friendship. In a moment of desperation (why does that word keep cropping up?), I signed on to one of the most popular online dating services. Their commercials flood the television with ecstatically happy young couples. I have not seen any of the senior set appear in any of the cheerful spots. At first, I tried the free route but couldn’t see my matches pictures and could not communicate except by way of an “icebreaker”, which were really lame comments addressed to liking their picture or that their profile had “caught my eye.” Yeek. I eventually signed on for 3 months so I could see and communicate with some of these perfect matches. After looking them over and sending out a few tentative “first questions”, I received only one response for my money. I soon realized that maybe these members had not paid their fees and could not reciprocate my attentions. This was very frustrating. Are you in or are you out? This takes me back to my high school years when I finally asked the young man of my dreams on a date as he was too shy or hesitant or nervous to make the first move. Step up to the plate, dammit. Take a chance on me. Eventually, I became weary of signing in to find that no one had replied to my emails or daringly sent an email out on their own. In a moment of anger one evening, I signed onto the second most popular online matchmaker, again for 3 months as this was the most economical. I could immediately see pictures, profiles, and this part makes me laugh, send “winks” out to those I was interested in. This site had even more levels of communicating including a “fast track.” I received hundreds of winks. It was a little overwhelming. I looked at every profile. I wondered briefly why men hundreds of miles away from me were sending me winks. I didn’t really want to fly 3 hours to go on a date. I returned a few winks to those that could actually spell, expressed themselves well in their profiles, and weren't looking for a "soulmate." Puh-leeze. I edited my own profile soon after as I thought some parts were too demanding, misleading or uninviting. I didn’t really notice any change in the men that were matched with me or the number of responses. I did notice, however, some very interesting things about a large number of the men in the age group I had specified. They all love the outdoors, work out 3-4 times a week (really?), ride motorcycles, like cuddling (omg, I could not believe this), wear hats in their photos if they are balding, have only headshots if they are fat, don’t want women who play games, and (I was blown away by this frequently mentioned factoid) love ballroom dancing! Ballroom dancing? Get out of here! I can line dance and disco dance. But ballroom dance? I guess I need to sign up for classes. Would we go on a date to ballroom dance on his motorcycle while cuddling? Now, my date site surfing is mostly for amusement. These men seem as timid as on the other dating site. I guess I’m just too scary. I like to read. I like to go to the movies. I like stimulating conversation. I'm a great cook but a lousy housekeeper. I don’t like to shop and I love a great kisser, but I didn’t put that in my profile. And, my picture is current and I think I look pretty damn good for a chick my age. Maybe, I should lower the age of the men I’m looking for. Would that qualify me as a cougar?